Naked Monkees!!!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, We have thrown our scarves off and are basking in our nakedness.

We are free, monkees in our purist form.  We have been running around up here, hooting and playing like were back in the jungle!  Right now, we are looking for Kate and the others from Lost... (They don't seem to be in this jungle anymore, I wonder where they went?)

Since Jen and Brian are ignoring us, we can do what we want.  Like the lawn really needs to be mowed or the deck coated!  I know they can see us up here.   It's great to be a minkee!!!  Uh oh, the mower just turned off... Jen must be heading up here.... Where's my scarf????

Friday Foto Finish Fiesta

This is by far one on my favorite fotos of these two little guys... You just look at them and picture giggles and rooting through sock drawers....

Getting Ready to get Lost

We decided we needed to settle down a bit before Lost starts, so we practiced part of the Ashtanga Primary Series.  Bernardo is doing Upavistha Konasana or wide angled seated forward bend.  That is one of Jen's all time favorites.  Brian just rolls his eyes jealously when she plops down the the floor with ease.  Her butt sticks up just like Bernardos too!!  I am doing  hanumanasana or monkey pose!  They named a pose after monkeys!!! OMG that is awesome!!!  Brain has been practicing this one for a while and just two days ago made it on both sides.  It was pretty freaking awesome!!!!  Now, we are just waiting for Lost to start and find out how our cutie pie Kate is doing....  We still hope to run across her in the jungle and cuddle attack her.  She won't know what hit her!!!   Well, we are off to make popcorn and watch the show.  More posts tomorrow...  Monkeys out!

Helping out...

It was a nice, warm, Midwestern day so we decided to be helpful little monkeys and volunteered to help hang the laundry outside.  It was very hard trying to hold onto the sheets, climb up the pole, scale along the wire, and then finally use these multipurpose clothes pins!  It took a while to get the sheets done, but we did it all by ourselves.  I hope it doesn't matter that we accidentally dropped them a few times (once in a mud puddle)!  We love to help out around the house!  When we were done, there were some clothes pins left, so of course we have to play with them.  The only problem is, once we got these on, we couldn't manage to get them off!  I think it would be helpful to have opposable thumbs.  Jen, get on that and when we need replacement parts, maybe then we will then be able to grip things!  Although, if it effects our cuteness quotient our answer is "NO..... NO..."

What on Earth???

Yesterday, it was 82 degrees outside.  Today, 59!!!  What is going on with the weather?!?  Did a meteorite hit Earth?  Are we entering the next ice age???  Is Guillermo's vow to quit farting effecting global warming?  What is going on???  What's worse, Jen's been gone for over 10 hours so she can't answer our questions!!!  Too many long hours for her lately!  She needs some good quality minkey time! (Only ten more days of work for her this school year.  Then she is ours for the summer!)  Since we had the whole day to ourselves, we turned on the Weather Channel and saw that a cold front came through.  Good thing, we thought the worst was coming our way!

Now, on to tonight's festivities!  Hell's kitchen is on with our favorite chef Corey!  That cute, cuddly, chef De Jour Corey.  I wonder what she would cook for a festive little minkey like me!!!  I don't know what I'll do if she gets voted off!!!  Guillermo votes her to stay all the way!!!  Corey, Corey, Corey!!!  I have a new mantra...  Where's my mala?

Hey all! In case you didn't know, Brian has a niece and nephew spending the summer in India! Some tourism + yoga training. They got a LOT of shots before they left, but apparently were takin' down by some JACKFRUIT. Major bummer, but we think they'll be on their feet in no time. We decided to try some jackfruit as a tribute...all we could find was canned, but that's OK.
Bernardo decided to give it a go (smelled good to ME!) and he enjoyed it, but was felled only an hour or so later by some cramps. Poor guy! But he was back on his feet fairly quickly, and minkee shananagins were on once again. More power to Evan and Kelly!

Chillin like villins

What better way to spend a three day weekend than hanging out and enjoying the weather.  At least until the big storm hit last night.  What a doosey!  However, this weekend was all about having fun and relaxing.  We channeled our inner minkee and swung around the sun porch and the apartment.  We hooted like minkees and scared the next door neighbors dog!  (which is a good thing, she never stops barking when she's outside.)  We also laid out so I can work on becoming even more mocha brown.  There was even a few rounds of our favorite minkee games like Scrabble, Twister, Zombies and the all time best game ever; Barrel of Monkeys!   All in all a pretty good weekend.  I wonder what Jen and Brian did?

O.K. We're Better...

Jen explained that the thing in the basket was a prototype for the two of us.  She apparently tried out a number of sizes before she came up with the perfect minkey size. Which is good, we are so cute and cuddly this size I can't imagine being THAT BIG!  She apologized several times, she forgot that she hadn't gotten rid of it.  I took it upon myself to destroy it.  So, I  farted on it for good measure, then Bernardo and I tried to rip it to shreds.  However, NO opposable thumbs made that pretty hard, so Jen took the scissors to it and it is now destroyed.  Whew!  Glad that is over.  I was a scared little minkee for a while.  By the way, sorry I farted on your pillows Jen.   You might want to throw the cases in the wash along with your favorite comfy pants.  Sorry, its what minkees do when they are upset.  Love you.....

WHAT THE!!!!!

We were minding our own business out on the sun porch when we came across this:

What the H*LL JEN!!!  Why are you making another one of us!  Two of us are enough monkeys in this household.  Plus are you making a giant.  This guy is huge!  And does he eat a lot of carrots?  His coloring is WAY OFF!   I don't know about you. All day we hear you complain about how hard it is to handle us two, and you make this guy!  What are you thinking?  We need a time out away from you!  Sorry, you have upset us!  Monkey out!

A Funny Thing Happened...

Well, THIS was certainly unexpected.

Must be some strange kind of hybrid. Whatever, Bernardo and I are very pleased with the results. Bernardo said I must have a "Brown Thumb". Awesome (altho I always thought it was "GREEN thumb"....). Brian must be very proud of us, as he has been smiling and giggling since we showed him our plant.

Now, time to enjoy the fruits of our labor, minkee-style.

Keepin' it real...Guillermo, out.

Minkee Botany...

Hello everyone! Bernardo with another update. Well, it got kinda cloudy and rainy yesterday, so G-Unit and I thought we'd try our hand at a little gardening. Unfortunately, the jelly beans we planted are just kind of...sitting there. Minkees are NOT very patient! Jen just sort of rolled her eyes (we get that a lot), but Brian suggested maybe we should water them. Great idea!

No comments on my outfit, thank you very much: Guillermo is kind of a spaz sometimes (you should see him on Suds & Bubbles day!), and I didn't want any cold water on me. We have been playing this morning, but we'll go check out the garden this afternoon. We're keeping our minkee fingers crossed!

Suds and Bubbles Day!

Well, its that time of the week my friends.  Our favorite day of the week, suds and bubbles day!!!  Here we are getting ready for our bath.  We don't want to be obscene and show you the actual event because we have to get naked.  While we enjoy being naked, Jen says we don't need to flaunt our bare selves on the internet.  There are enough photos of naked monkeys without the two of us showing ourselves off.

We just want our faithful readers to know that we do take our minkee hygiene very seriously!  No filthy minkees in this household.  Lots of suds and bubbles followed by careful grooming.  We also do our grooming in the other room away from Brian and Jen.  It is our minkee private time when we make ourselves clean and presentable to the public.  After suds and bubbles tonight, we are going to watch some t.v. and then adjourn to our luxury accommodations for the night.  Minkees out!

Minkee Flowers

What would Jen like better than coming home to a bunch of flowers in these vases?  Minkee Flowers A.K.A. B-unit and G-man sittin pretty in these lovely bamboo vases!  We look sooooo cute in here, don't we.  Only problem.... The G-man is stuck, I repeat, the G-man is stuck!  HELP!!!  This vase is tooo small!

O.K. Bernardo was nice enough to trade vases with me (and look, he's too fat to fit in his vase.  He has to sit on top!).  Only problem... This one is too big!!!  (Does this sound familiar?  Sounds like a bedtime story...)  I fell right in and am stuck all over again!  Maybe Jen will help me out.  However, if I do say so myself, I look awfully cute in here.  I think I'm good until the Bri-Guy gets here.  Maybe he will bring home some real flowers!!!

Arts and Crafts

Today Guillermo and I decided to get artsy-fartsy (I'm sure you know which part HE played in that combo) and do a couple of self portraits. What do you think?

Things were going great until I decided to play a little prank on G-Unit. He didn't take it well.

But I suggested we get right down to some minkey antics, and he got over it quickly! Which is good, I hate it when he gets pouty!

Tag We're It!

So, we have been tagged!  Since there are two minkeys and a human who do most of the posting we thought it only appropriate to have six fun filled facts that you may not know about all of us...  We will see if Brian wants to add anything when he gets home, but we'll leave the choice up to him...

 Guillermo.....

1.  If someone says hammertime, I have to do the hammertime dance.  It's kind of like Cartman having to sing the entire song "Come Sail Away" when someone sings a lyric.  It is quite annoying, but minkeys love to dance.

2.  My head had to recreated because I got some of Jen's blush on my nose and it wouldn't come off, even after ten suds and bubbles.  I was too embarrassed to be photographed, so I had Jen make me a new head.

3.  When Jen and Brian are both gone, I fart on their pillows... I am a monkey, don't question or judge!

4.  My favorite chef on Hell's Kitchen is Corey.  I could get pretty cuddly with her if you know what I mean...

5.  My favorite game to play is cute shark.  It is where I crawl around on the ground and chase Jen, Brian and Bernardo while being extremely cute.  Only problem.... My butt wiggles too much!

6.  Gordon Ramsey is my idol,  now "Piss off you stupid donkey!"  (that's what he says, so I can say it too!!!)

Bernardo...

1.   While Jen is at work, I play with her beads........  All of the beads, not this little pile!!!

2.  I may be festive, wear a rainbow scarf and am 'gay', but I am not that 'gay'.  B-man loves the ladies.

 

3.  I am allergic to bananas!  Fortunately, I don't eat them... just wear them!

4.  I would cuddle Kate from Lost like she's never been cuddled before!!!  She is hot!!! Plus, she is traversing the jungle....  guess where I am from... the jungle!  Maybe we can run into one another!!!

5.  My favorite superheros are: Captain Coconauts, Iron Man and Hellboy!  

6.  I left a present in Jen's beads..... If you know what I mean!

Jen...

1. I know for a fact that there is more than one way to skin a cat!  Sorry cat lovers (Carrie) I took Anatomy and Physiology in college and that was a requirement.  I was in a group with three men, I was the only one willing to attempt the skinning.  It was quite interesting to perform it, and there is defiantly more than one way, but I don't want to gross you out too much...

2.  I sang in a back up choir for none other than "The Gambler" at the Mark of the Quad Cities presentation of: A Kenny Roger's Christmas.  Yes ladies and gentlemen I got to meet the gambler himself (he smelled like chicken, weird huh), had my picture taken and sang two songs in a backup choir.  

3.  I was banned from an adult bookstore for three months! They took my photo and posted it!   Always remember kids.... A six foot inflatable penis when hit with your fist, may fall back but comes back up with lightening speed.  If you are curious, click for more details.

4.  I don't like chocolate.  Sorry, just don't like it.  However, you put Skittles or Jelly Beans in front of me and they are gone in seconds.

5.  I make jewelry and malas as a 'side business'.  Malas are Tibetan prayer beads.

6.  I have recently begun and am now addicted to my sinus rinse.  I love to gross out people and give them details about how to use it!  Especially Tom at work!

Look what we found 2.0

Sequence of events.....  We went looking through the fridge for something interesting to try and boy did we find a doosey!  Jen loves this stuff, so it can't be that bad, right?!?  She puts it on sandwiches, pizza, veggie corn dogs, etc...  Although, I don't understand veggie corn dogs anyway!  

Rock, paper, scissors later, I lose and have to give it a try.  I put the fork in, give a big whiff and go for it....

So, that happened....  It knocked my socks of, literally!  I had no idea it was fermented and chock full of tangy goodness.  Only problem.... I JUST WOKE UP!!!

This noxiously delightful creation put the G-man out of action for over a day!  Apparently, every time I came to, I had nasty farts that knocked me out all over again.  I just woke up on the sun porch ready to go for the evening....  I am rested and up for anything....  I wonder where Bernardo is?

Look what we found!!!!

It is amazing what you can find with a little diggin through the cupboards. B-man had the great idea of putting these on our heads. He says he feels like king tut in his hat. Well that just cracked me up because tut sounds like 'toot' which is one of the things minkeys love to do (especially this minkey)!!! After a while, I decided I would try to do a headstand with my cool new hat on. It was tricky getting up there. Bernardo sat back and watched, he was too chicken to try... BAWK, BAWK Bernardo, BAWK, BAWK!!! Now, here is where the problem lies. With this thing on my head, I couldn't get back down from my headstand and I had to do A LOT of apologizing to get some help from you know who. After much pleading and tooting in fear, Bernardo helped me down and we continued to play. I took off my hat and turned it into a megaphone and jumpped up on B-man's hat and had some fun. I was shouting orders to Jen, like "keep on dusting", "that mirror isn't going to clean itself" and "you missed a spot". She looked a bit irritated with me, but she just left us alone. I think she said something under her breath about some new dust rag she could use, and was wondering how yarn could help pick up dust. I don't know what she was talking about?!? Unfortunatley, I had an accidental toot (or five) on Bernardo's head and the fun and games were over. Oh, well... I am sure we can find something else to play with.... I wonder what's in the fridge?

It's good to be a minkey!

A beautiful Friday! What else to do but play, play, play (though Brian did mention something about helping with the yardwork, but he can't be serious!?). We played Hide and Seek (if you look closely, you might find us in the second picture). Then we climbed on some minkey-bars. Yeah, we know: they don't LOOK like minkey-bars, but minkey+climbing=minkey-bars, got it! Glad we have that settled. Then we took a leisurely nap in the sun.

All in all, a good day to be a minkey, but then again, isn't every day?!

PS. Gee-Unit says to remind everyone to send in their photo captions (see last post).

Bernardo, over and out.

Take a Memo!

Bernardo here...  Wow, Jen has been soooo busy this week with work, she hasn't had enough time to play with us :()  So, we are reaching out to give her a hand and are starting a 'Caption This' segment to the blog.  We need your help in creating our adventures.  Unfortunately, Jen made us with tiny knit hands and we are unable to type for ourselves.  We are taking suggestions for this photo until May 21st at midnight (however we will still be a bloging from time to time as well).  The winner will have their caption on this post and we may even include an autographed, yes I repeat autographed photo of these two handsome fellas.  So start the creative juices flowing... No, not you Guillermo.... Man, he farted.....:(  Stinky Minkey!

A Little Help Please, Again!

O.K.  Jen was almost two hours late coming home from work, she 'claims' she was helping work on a big PowerPoint for work.   Whatever, we needed to get down to minkey business and start playing!  So, we got into the hair tie basket in the bathroom and started fighting over them.  Well, that just lead to more fighting and now we are stuck!!! And yes, that is my tail wrapped in there too.  This is very uncomfortable.  She came in the house and you know what she did?!? She looked at us, walked past and left us sitting on the couch bound together.  What a butt head!!!  I can't believe she just left us there!!!  Now we have to wait for Brian to come home and help us out.  I hope he gets here soon.....

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Since Brian and Jen don't have any kids yet, and technically Jen did create us, we thought it would be nice and write Jen a poem or two for mother's day.  We can be so mischievous and time consuming we also decide to be good little minkeys and give her the day off.  (But not Brian!!!  We may sneak attack him again today!)  Anyway, here is our first poem:

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Jen's Super Awesome

She taught us not to fling poo!

We will try to write another one today, but we are going to take a break to play for a while.  By the way, check out our hats!  We stole them from Brian's sock drawer!!! Minkeys out!

Field Trip 2.0

Well, Brian is a fuddy duddy!  He wouldn't let us come to yoga with him and he said I can't work on my Iron Man outfit because I might damage myself with the scissors!!  So instead we thought we would give you some more pics from our fun filled field trip to Jen's school. (nice alliteration, huh!)  This is B-man and I playing on the pencil sharpener.  He tried to convince me to put my tail in there and he would sharpen it for me, but I said "No...No...".  He would have unraveled me!!! Does he want to be a solo minkey?!?

Next, we played hide and seek and I found the best hiding place.  B-man didn't find me for almost an hour.  It was a good thing he found me when he did, it was getting pretty stinky in there.... I wonder why.....

Lastly, we decided to put the libraries copy machine to good use.  It made our butts nice and toasty warm.  Unfortunately, Jen found us and threw away the copy before we could post it.  She didn't think people would really be interested in looking at monkey butts on the internet.  I know I would find it interesting!

Spa Day

Sorry loyal readers that we didn't get a chance to post yesterday.  Jen had some appointments and went to the mother of all book sales so she dropped us off at the local spa for the day for some serious minkey pampering.  We got ear massages, tickles and hugs from the cute little massage therapists.  Then came the the minkey pedicure.  We were so relaxed that we loosened our scarves and Bernardo put on the grass skirt from Cinco de Mayo party we had.  After we were picked up, Jen and Brian went to go see Iron Man.  They tried to leave us at home, but we hid in Jen's purse and got to see the whole thing.  That movie was AWESOME!  I think  I may have to make myself an Iron Man outfit so I can be just like Tony Stark!

Meet Foster

Foster, Cara's dog, came to skool today for a field trip too. When we first met, we didn't know what to think. He looks a little different from us, and he didn't smell farty so we weren't sure if he was o.k......

Guillermo had the brilliant idea to do what dogs do and sniff his butt to make sure he was on the up and up. Apparently, he has recently had his suds and bubbles because he didn't smell at all!

As the saying goes, I'll show you mine if you show my yours. Well, he had to sniff us as well to make sure we are good natured minkeys. There was a problems though.....

He was a little upset with the foul stench that emanates from G-man's fanny region and wasn't sure he wanted to be friends. I think it also offended Foster that Guillermo tried to ride him like a pony! I assured him that we are good little minkeys but all the same I don't think he was too comfortable with the stinkyest of the minkeys. We had fun though.....

Field Trip!!!

We had so much fun at school today. We hung out in the library with Mary for  a while and read a good book about Walt Disney.  Mary was very patient with us.  Do you see how many books we pulled down off the shelves to find that one!

Then we decided to hide in some shelves and scare some of the students when they went to find a book.  The only problem was, they could hear us giggling and knew we were there before they saw us.

We have a lot more pictures that we took while at skool that we will share them with you later.  Right now, it is off to nap time.  Who knew playing all day could be such hard work.  Our little minky butts are tired.    

Skool!!!

Tomorrow it is take your knit animals to work day (at least for Jen and Cara it is!)  We are looking forward to some scholarly adventures and I hear there may be a field trip in the works....  What can two knit monkeys and a dog do on a field trip?  Let's see where tomorrow's festivities take us!!!  It is going to be awesome!!!

By the way, we just recently graduated from minkey charm school, so we will be on our best minkey behaviors.  I hope Foster the dog doesn't turn us to the dark side and get us in trouble!

Study break...

Brian has been working on his final project for school and was looking a little frazzled, so Bernardo came up with a plan to sneak up on him and attack! We can be pretty ferocious when we want to be...nothing like two stuffed, dangly 12-inch minkeys to scare the #@* out of ya! Brian seemed genuinely scared, but we assured him we were just playing, and he seemed grateful for the break.

But he has to get back to work, so B-man and I are going to play Superheroes! I am going to be Stink-Lord, Ruler of Stench, and Bernardo said he is going to be Itchy Pants, Creator of Uncomfortable Wool Trousers. I don't know about that minkey sometimes...his humor is just so "out there". He thinks it's hilarious though, and has been running around giggling and threatening everyone with "chafing" and "rashes". As long as he's happy, I guess. But now I must flee...adventure calls!