Monkey Q & A

Its time for this weeks installment of Ask A Monkey. Our first question comes from N.

N said...

Guillermo and Bernardo, Any luck with the lady minkees? They must be elusive 'round those parts. And by "parts" I mean....your little minkee harbles.

Collective Answer:  We would like to have some ladies around here, but Jen refuses to make any.  Something about little baby monkeys running around.  We're not anatomically correct lady.  And N, what do you mean by 'harbles'?  If its what we think it is we once again say we're not anatomically coorect.  We may have doodles, but really they are just our tails.

Jen said...

So, what celebrity monkeys do you have a crush on?

Guillermo says: Here are my top 10

1. Kate from Lost (I'd like to traverse the jungle with her if you know what I mean!!!)

2. Corey from Hell's Kitchen (she can cook for me anytime!)

3. Padma from Top Chef (hubba hubba)

4. Rachel Ray (YUMMO!)

5. Sarah Michelle Gellar (She can slay me anytime!)

6. Jessica Biel (run from the chainsaw, run)

7.  Lois Griffin (she is one saucy cartoon hotty!)

8.  Alicia Silverstone (that sexy PETA)

9.  Anna Paquin (She can try to drain my power, if she dares!)

10.  Rachael Bilson (the OC the size of little ol' me!!!!)

Bernardo Says:  My Top 10 Are:

1. Cat Cora (Greek Goddess of Gastronomy)

2.  Giada DeLaurentiis (Italian beauty)

3.  Stephanie our new Top Chef (I'll help you start a new restaurant!!!)

4.  Jessica Alba (lasso wielding vixon)

5. Elisha Cuthbert (I wish she lived next door!)

6.  Ali Larter (You can be my hero anytime)

7.  Jennifer Connelly (Best scene ever, when she is singing in Dark City.  Hoo, hoo, hoo)

8.  Eliza Dushku (I can turn this bad slayer good)

9.  Heidi Klume (have you seen the VS adds.  MEOW!)

10.  Megan Fox (the smokin chickie from Transformers.  Bernardo like!)

We thought we would add a little of why we like them.  Not monkeys, but I sure bet they would love a little knit monkey like us!

As always, you have a question, why not ask a monkey.  Instructions are on the right sidebar.  Email your questions to monkeyqanda at gmail dot com.

We look forward to your entries.

Monkey Q & A

We are taking three questions this week for our Sunday Special Segment Series of Ask a Monkey.

The first comes from Therese:  Who do you think will win the next Food Network star?

Guillermo - Chef Cory, duh!  Hey Cory......  Remember me.....  

Bernardo - I hope it is Aaron. I like that guy.

Brian - Anybody but Lisa, she drives me nuts.

Jen - Lisa. I think she has what it takes, but needs to take it down a notch.

Shannon asks:  Boxers or Briefs?

Collective answer: We prefer to run around in nothing but our scarves. However, if we had a choice, boxers. It would be easier on our doodles/tails.

And last, but certainly not least, comes from Kandace:  What is your biggest fear?

Bernardo: My biggest fear is what is going to come out of Guillermo's butt next.
Guillermo: Getting lost in the jungle with noone to help me find my way home..... or get out of the tree.....

As always, you have a question why not ask a monkey.  

Monkey Q & A

Welcome to our Sunday Special Segment Series of Ask a Monkey!

This weeks installment of Ask a Monkey features the questions of the one and only Candid Carrie. She had several questions, so we decided to put them all together in one post. However as always we encourage your questions and comments.

Question #1 is in reference to the carpet nightmares posts.

I know that when a carpet gets sick you call The Rug Doctor, but how does the carpet get laid?

Brian fielded this earlier: Well Carrie, if that IS your real name.... carpet gets 'laid' by Dr. Shagsalot...AKA Mr. SniffNcarpet...AKA Silas T. Rugmuncher. Duh!!!

Check out the post for some way funny extras on the comments.

Question #2
What is your favorite movie? And if you say planet of the apes, I will be upset.

Guillermo: Big Lebowski, any Pink Panther or Inspector Clouseau, I've picked up some of my "Seller-esque" moves from those:

Well, what kind of bomb was it?

The exploding kind.

Bernardo: I can't pick just one. Maybe one of Fellini's works.

Brian: Angel Heart, Blade Runner, many others wide and varied.

Jen: The Last Supper, Juno, The Dark Knight, whatever tickles my fancy at the moment.

Question #3 is in reference to our recent field trip to Egypt.
What did you guys do to the rest of the Pharaoh?

Guillermo here: I accidentally farted and well, blew the rest of it off. I hope I don't have to pay for anything, it wasn't my fault. I'm just farty by nature.

There was one anonymous entry this week as well.

Does the new carpet match the drapes?

Guillermo: Of course the carpets match the drapes. We planned it out that way, duh! Why wouldn't you plan that ahead of time. We kept a brown theme in the living room for a reason....

As always..... you have questions, why not have a monkey answer them. We would love some questions to be answered by our faithful viewers. We don't want this to be a lost segment.

***Update at 9:15 AM***
Carrie decided to ask a few more questions and due to the nature of one of them, we decided to address them now. They are all collective answers.

* What are you minkees stuffed with ... is it organic or synthetic?

We are stuffed with fiberfill, farts and love. A little organic and a little synthetic.

* Do the minkees sleep in a certain place at night or do they just get left laying where ever they were perched last?

We sleep in our executive suites at night, aka the headboard.

* What kind of camera do Jen and Brian (if that is your real name) use?

Canon PowerShot SD10. Has anyone ever heard of it? Probably not. It is seven years old and still as good as most on the market. We loves it.

* Does Brian even have a job? We know Jen721 works for hard as a teacher, making a difference, one thirteen year old at a time. All we know is that Brian has a goatee, collects guitars, won't let us see his unders, and he does yoga dance. The public deserves more.

This Question is the reason for our update... Brian has a job, he's also a teacher. He does have a goatee. The guitars, well he used to be in a band. His unders are his to share with the world if he chooses, his socks however have been donned on many a minkee head.
As for the Yoga, he does Ashtanga yoga, not yoga dance. I don't even think that exists, who knows. Ashtanga is a flowing type of yoga with poses done in a certain series and way. It's not for beginners. All those really hard yet cool poses you see people doing, comes from there. It is easier for Brian in the regards to upper body strength. Jen is more flexible. We are the perfect Yin & Yang when it comes to yoga.

Carrie also had a photo request. Once the minkees are out of their executive suites and presentable to the world there will be a photo shoot. Look for it later today. Doowop Twins Pt. 2

Monkey Q & A

If you didn't participate in yesterdays field trip, head over to Camp Candid Carrie and find out the rules. If you were here for the overnighter, don't forget to pack up your sleeping bags and take  all your things or else you may see them on an e-Bay auction later tonight.  We hope you enjoyed last nights' festivities as we did, and please be sure to recycle your beverage containers. (Look out for highlights of the festivities throughout the next week.)

 

By the way, the scavenger hunt is still running, contest ends at 11:00 PM tonight.  So, if you didn't participate yesterday there is still time.  Answers and winners will be announced tomorrow morning.

Now, on to this weeks Sunday Special Segment Series: Ask a Monkey.  We decided to spice it up this week and go for doorags instead of our typical sock hat.  Bernardo feels like Miss Cleo!

Candid Carrie said...
Dear B & G: Will you ever forgive Jen for not giving you any thumbs?

Collective Answer:  Yes, we have forgiven her, however, we make her do stuff that we really don't need help with.  Like some light grooming.  We want to make sure she stays in check.  The hardest thing for us to do is changing the channel on the T.V. or making prank, I mean phone calls.  The only phone we have ever been able to use properly is the beer phone.  But that's another story for another time. 

Dear Brian: Do the monkees ever mess with your stuff or just Jen's stuff.

Brian: Yes, half the socks on their heads are mine.  And they get into my underwear drawer.  Sometimes it gets tiring explaining the 'front pocket' to Guillermo.  Not to mention yesterday's Teepee!  

Dear Jen: If you have to rehome your monkees when you start a family, would you consider our home for them?

Guillermo here, I'm fielding this one: The answer is no, sorry.  We will find a way to fit in and create a unique family environment all our own.  We are comfy here, and we're not leaving without them.  

Jane @ Kidzarama said...
Have you ever wanted to visit Australia?

Collective Answer: Heck, yeah!  We would love to come to Australia!

And if so, what would you be looking forward to most?

Collective Answer: We would like to see Ayers Rock,  we hear its pretty cool.  We would also like to see Great Barrier Reef, Kakadu National Park and The Sydney Opera House.  Guillermo has dreams of singing on stage there.  

Guillermo:  I would also like to travel across Australia like they did in Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, one of Jen's favorite movies.  It would be cool to dress up in fancy dresses, ride a high heel on the top of the bus, sing and dance.  Pretty cool.  But it's not necessary, I can do that at home.

Bernardo:  I swear, Guillermo there is something wrong with you.  Watch out or that crazy Chris Crocker will come and snatch you away!

Guillermo: Oh, man I don't like that guy.  I give him two toots and a squiggle!

Lori said...
Dear Minkees: We know that you fart, but do you poop?

Guillermo:  Well, usually it's just a fart.  When I am playing around a bit too much and push too hard, I have had the occasional Shart.  

Bernardo:I usually won't sink to Guillermo's level and fart that much, no one farts that much.  I did on one occasion leave Jen a little present in her beads....

Jen: Yes, Bernardo I did find it.  Almost put it on a mala until I realized what it was exactly. You are lucky I didn't put it on there, I would have had one dissatisfied customer!  Speaking of which, why don't you go sit in the corner and think about what you have done!

Candid Carrie said...
Here's a question, how did you manage to get out of the house?

Bernardo: Usually, we swing around like the big monkeys do and get out through the sun porch, then shimmy on down the drain pipe and we are free.  

Does Jen have a minkee door?

Guillermo:  JEEEEENNNNNN!  Can we have a monkey door?  Man, we don't get nothin'!

Mama Dawg said...
I want to know what kind of topping you little monkeys like on your pizza. 

Bernardo: Jen and Brian usually grill their pizzas in the summer, AWESOME!  I like bugs on my half of the pizza topped with lots of cheese.

Guillermo:  On my side I put avocado, banana and cheese.  Then it gets grilled, until the cheese melts, yummo!

And...what is the meaning of life? (at least for monkeys)

Collective answer: The meaning of life for a monkey is: playing, having fun, going on adventures, dressing up, eating, sleeping and farting.  Oh yeah, and the occasional hugs and cuddles from our owners.  Its good to be a monkey!

Thank you for reading this weeks segment.  As always make sure to comment and leave a questions to get answered by the minkees pearls of wisdom.

Monkey Q & A

This week we return with our Sunday Special Segment Series: Monkey Q & A. Remember, each week we will answer your questions. So with that said, do you have any questions you are dying to know the answers to? Ask us your questions and we will give you the best answers we can. Remember, we are monkeys.

Cyclingred asked:

I love you guys. Could you come to my house and visit? I will take you for a bikeride.

G-Mo: We don't like to venture too far from home, but the bike ride sounds interesting. However earlier this year I was minkynapped, so maybe that isn't a good idea.

B-Man: Well, the Ragbri is ending here in the QCA, if you are there we would maybe like to go for a ride. We need permission though, and Jen doesn't let us go too far. I think she's a little too protective at times.

Mama Dawg asked:
What is the meaning of life?

G-Mo: The meaning of life is a 1983 movie starring John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Michael Palin and Grahm Chapman. Funny movie. I think we need to watch it again.

B-Man: If you are asking about our place in the cosmos it depends on whose logic you follow. A man named (and no I am not kidding) David Seaman wrote a book on The Real Meaning Of Life after doing a lot of research. Check that out if you want answers. I'm just a monkey. The meaning of life for me is fun, adventures, banans, and watching belly dancing videos with Jen. Its good to be a monkey. Maybe if I ask nice enough I will get a head scratch or two. Where did Brian go........

G-mo: Did I hear head scratches? JEN!!!! I need you.....

Judy Haley said...
If a pig has his voicebox removed, would that make him disgruntled?

Collective answer: Well, we are members of PETA and don't really know how to answer that in a PC way. But, we also live very close to the hog capital of the world and have been forced to smell what comes out of their posterior (way worse than Guillermo!) and we think no matter what they would be disgruntled. Wouldn't you be if you lived in a sty?

Romi asked:

Are those "real" monkeys?

Collective answer: We are as real as you make us. (So, yes we are real monkeys.) We do all the things big monkeys do, just without the poo flinging.

Christie asked a two part question for this weeks segment:

Dear Knit Monkeys,
I was just wondering...what do you eat? And do you wear Pajamas to bed?

B-Man: I like to eat banans and peanuts. Whatever Jen or Brian cooks for dinner is good too. Nothing greasy that can stain my little monkey fur though.
G-Mo: I like to eat string cheese. This one time I tried saurkraut I kinda liked it, but it did weird things to me, like knock me out! As for the pajama question we wear don't wear pjs to bed, but we do wear nightcaps. Keeps our heads warm on those cold nights.
You have a question, we have an answer. As always, you can ask your question by leaving us a comment or by e-mailing jen72175@gmail.com We will let you know when you will be featured in our series via e-mail (hopefully a couple days before) and add a link to your site when posted. We will try to answer as many questions as possible, but may not be able to get to everyone.

Playing in the garden 2

As we were strolling along, we found this plant. Very cool. It looks like something from a Sci-Fi movie.
On this daisy, we found a bug, so we had to get a picture of it. We wanted documentation of the bugs that are attacking us every second we are out here. I hope there is something for itch relief in the house!
This is a Sweet Pea. Have you ever smelled the Sweet Pea lotion at Bath and Body Works? Smells the exact same.
This guy looks like baby's breath, but i don't think that's right. Either way, it was pretty.
Poppies, Poppies, Poppies, Poppies. Why do the words Existential Blues keep going through my head? Weird!
Well, we better get back in the house. Iron Chef is on soon, and you know how we like our Food Network shows. Hopefully Jen is done watching that swimming thing. We don't like seeing her that aggressive. That reminds me: Be aggressive, B-E aggressive, B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E, be aggressive, B-E aggressive. I think I just had a cheerleading flashback. Must have been one of those in a past life. Karma's a bitch. HHHhhhmmmmmm.

As always, don't forget to visit our monkey Q&A to have your life's questions answered.

Monkey Q & A

This week we are starting a new Sunday Special Segment Series: Monkey Q & A. Each week we will answer your questions. So with that said, do you have any questions you are dying to know the answers to? Ask us your questions and we will give you the best answers we can. Remember, we are monkeys.

This weeks first Q&A comes from BG (our co-writer) who asks:
Minkees...

I was just wondering why your "thinking caps" look like the dirty sock I left on the floor earlier today? Did you mean, "STINKING caps"?

G-Mo: Of course! Do you think we would put something on our heads that wouldn't stink?!?

B-Man: I saw how sweaty you were coming off the treadmill. I let Guillermo take those socks, I mean caps, and got a fresh pair from the drawer. No way do I want your foot smell on my head.

Our second question comes from Rachel who asks:

Normally I like to take a bath to wind down, but since you are made of, well socks, how do you relax?
B-Man: After a long day of playing, going on adventures, what have you I enjoy a nice glass of wine and a good long suds and bubbles once a week. Occassionally I get an ear massage or a head scratch which always helps the wind down process. I also try to do yoga with Jen and Brian whenever I get the chance. Very relaxing, especially corpse pose, my personal best.
G-Mo: When I need to wind down, I fart. You meant wind, like 'the leaves were blowing in the wind' right? I have never heard of a wind down in a bath, but I guess you can fart anywhere.

Our third and final question of the day comes to us from Lori who asked:

Is the offspring of one's second cousin one's third cousin, or one's second cousin once removed? (This has been bothering me for years.)

Our initial Collective response is: MONKEY! However upon looking it up it seems the answer would be one's second cousin once removed. This is like reading Greek to us, so we may be wrong. Hope that answers your question. If not go with our inital response of: MONKEY!


You have a question, we have an answer. As always, you can ask your question by leaving us a comment or by e-mailing jen72175@gmail.com We will let you know when you will be featured in our series via e-mail (hopefully a couple days before) and add a link to your site when posted. We will try to answer as many questions as possible, but may not be able to get to everyone.