OMG! We've been robbed!

What is going on in here! We come in from playing to find this!!! Someone stole the entertainment center! Why would they leave the T.V.? OMG they must be coming back! Help, help, call 911 our little nipple hands won't do the trick. Damn it Jen, you made us without opposable thumbs! How are we ever going to be able to forgive you? And you know how cute we are, the robbers are going to take us away! Help! Help! We are going to go hide out on the sun porch! We'll be under the futon, come get us when you get home. I hope I can contain myself and not be heard!!! (insert anxious fart sound here...)

Wait a minute. Why is the entertainment center out here? And so it the book case and floor rug. OH, that right, Jen and Brian are getting new carpet tomorrow. Yeah, we will be able to make carpet angels. They told me I have to be careful not to leave any 'marks' on the new carpet or I may have to start wearing pants. I like being naked, (unless we're at karate class) I don't want to wear anything unless its on my head!

By the way, Bernardo drew our portraits on Jen's calendar, how do they look? I think they are cool. He is really able to capture our essence!

As always, don't forget to add a question for our Ask a monkey series. (It will be a short series if we don't get more questions.)

Playing in the garden

We decided to go for a stroll in the garden this evening. Well, Jen was a little too involved in the Olympics Swimming Trials and we needed to get out of her way. I have never seen her get excited about or even watch any sports, so it was defiantly a new experience for us.While out in the garden, we took some photos of some of the flowers that were growing. We don't know the names of all of the flowers, but we do know they are pretty and smell good too. This one is a sunflower, it was very cool!
By the way, the reason all of these are close ups is because we are only 12" tall. Be nice, we are monkeys!
This one was hard to capture. The wind picked up, but we got it. Maybe we should think about becoming professional photographers.
Nah, that would interfere with our adventures. Stay tuned for part 2 in a minute.

Playing in the garden 2

As we were strolling along, we found this plant. Very cool. It looks like something from a Sci-Fi movie.
On this daisy, we found a bug, so we had to get a picture of it. We wanted documentation of the bugs that are attacking us every second we are out here. I hope there is something for itch relief in the house!
This is a Sweet Pea. Have you ever smelled the Sweet Pea lotion at Bath and Body Works? Smells the exact same.
This guy looks like baby's breath, but i don't think that's right. Either way, it was pretty.
Poppies, Poppies, Poppies, Poppies. Why do the words Existential Blues keep going through my head? Weird!
Well, we better get back in the house. Iron Chef is on soon, and you know how we like our Food Network shows. Hopefully Jen is done watching that swimming thing. We don't like seeing her that aggressive. That reminds me: Be aggressive, B-E aggressive, B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E, be aggressive, B-E aggressive. I think I just had a cheerleading flashback. Must have been one of those in a past life. Karma's a bitch. HHHhhhmmmmmm.

As always, don't forget to visit our monkey Q&A to have your life's questions answered.

Monkey Q & A

This week we are starting a new Sunday Special Segment Series: Monkey Q & A. Each week we will answer your questions. So with that said, do you have any questions you are dying to know the answers to? Ask us your questions and we will give you the best answers we can. Remember, we are monkeys.

This weeks first Q&A comes from BG (our co-writer) who asks:
Minkees...

I was just wondering why your "thinking caps" look like the dirty sock I left on the floor earlier today? Did you mean, "STINKING caps"?

G-Mo: Of course! Do you think we would put something on our heads that wouldn't stink?!?

B-Man: I saw how sweaty you were coming off the treadmill. I let Guillermo take those socks, I mean caps, and got a fresh pair from the drawer. No way do I want your foot smell on my head.

Our second question comes from Rachel who asks:

Normally I like to take a bath to wind down, but since you are made of, well socks, how do you relax?
B-Man: After a long day of playing, going on adventures, what have you I enjoy a nice glass of wine and a good long suds and bubbles once a week. Occassionally I get an ear massage or a head scratch which always helps the wind down process. I also try to do yoga with Jen and Brian whenever I get the chance. Very relaxing, especially corpse pose, my personal best.
G-Mo: When I need to wind down, I fart. You meant wind, like 'the leaves were blowing in the wind' right? I have never heard of a wind down in a bath, but I guess you can fart anywhere.

Our third and final question of the day comes to us from Lori who asked:

Is the offspring of one's second cousin one's third cousin, or one's second cousin once removed? (This has been bothering me for years.)

Our initial Collective response is: MONKEY! However upon looking it up it seems the answer would be one's second cousin once removed. This is like reading Greek to us, so we may be wrong. Hope that answers your question. If not go with our inital response of: MONKEY!


You have a question, we have an answer. As always, you can ask your question by leaving us a comment or by e-mailing jen72175@gmail.com We will let you know when you will be featured in our series via e-mail (hopefully a couple days before) and add a link to your site when posted. We will try to answer as many questions as possible, but may not be able to get to everyone.

Field Trippin'

Hi ho, hi ho to grandmothers house we go.  Jen's folks are gone this week up to Door County, WI and she had to go over to their house to water the plants.  Well, actually she only went once.  It rained here so much that she didn't want the plants to drown.  We decided to tag along and check things out at their house while Jen was watering.  Plus, I think Brian needed a break. 

Here we found a lovely group of dogs to play with.  This one is perfectly minkee sized!  We didn't have to worry about being bitten or carried off at all.  The only problem, they weren't soft at all and they didn't move around a whole lot.  They were cool though!

This here is a statue of a guy who looks like Jen's old theater instructor from high school.  It has an uncanny likeness.  She seemed to wince a bit when she saw it and started muttering about having a chair thrown and being called a 'dolt'.  What's a dolt?  Anyway we had a lot playing left in store.

We found minkee pods that fit us perfectly.  There was a bottle in one of these slots, but we just opened it and drank it.  Playing can make you thirsty.  I felt a little funny at first, but I'm all right now.  Anyway, I think Jen and Brian need to get one of these.  Way fun to play in.  The only problem was it was a bit to short and our legs hung down in the back.  They started falling asleep, and we had to move on.

In the basement, we found this cool basket.  I have no idea why it is hanging on the wall.  Its not the only basket on the wall, weird.  Anyway, guess what state we live in?!?  Side note, the wall we had to climb up to get here is splintery.  I had to ask Bernardo to remove a sliver, which lead to grooming, giggling and fun.  We minkees like to be as clean a monkily possible!

On the way down to the basement, we found this little lady.  She is an Isabel Bloom creation made of concrete.  There are some pretty cool pieces that come in a couple of different finishes.  They even have a monkey!  We almost got one for Jen for Christmas last year, but it was a bit too creepy.  
By the way ladies, this is a tail between my legs, not my doodle.  I will write more in a bit.  Guillermo out! :()

Field Trippin' Cont...

While down in the basement we came across this little, what am I saying HUGE guy. It makes me feel manly for some reason. I wanted Jen to put in a DVD for us to watch, but she said there wasn't enough time, she had to get back home soon. I'll be back. Oh, yeah I'll be back. Unless..... Jen, would you buy me a new TV? Didn't think so. Had to try.

Several years ago, Jen's dad made clocks and music boxes. He even made her graduation present, a trunk! This clock looks like a wrist watch, but it hangs on the wall. It was pretty cool. Bernardo could even tell the time on it, which Jen said is better than some middle schoolers.

We also decided to play in the dryer. It was like space ship in there. I wanted to play Apollo 13, but Bernardo got a little scared. I reminded him its just pretend and he was cool with it. I wanted Jen to put it on a fluff cycle to make us fuzzier, but she explained what would happen and I decided it wouldn't be a very good idea! The acoustics in there were pretty awesome. I sang some of my favorite songs. While singing B-man kept yelling at me to stop farting, which was weird because I wasn't farting at all! After several accusations we left the dryer to go investigate.

That's when we found this. It was gurgling like nobodies business! It is Jen's dads' BEER. He makes home brew. (And if you are reading this, no we did not touch that thingy on top. Jen was very specific about not moving it at all! God forbid we ruin beer! Beer Good!) This time around, he is brewing up some Honey Wheat. One of our favorite beers! It was pretty active. I could see where Bernardo would think it was me farting. Nope, just beer fermenting. (Wait, when I fart is it because I am fermenting?) Can't wait until its done, I wanna try some. What does a minkee have to do to get a pint?

On the way out the door we figured out that we were supposed to wear slippers in the house so we don't get marks on the carpet. Sorry. We are made of yarn and so are the slippers so I think we are all good. Right? Plus it takes us back to the monkey duck day....
Then it was off to home. We had quite the busy day. Hope they don't mind me checking out their house. We had a lot of fun! Thanks!

Friday Foto Finish Fiesta 2.3

Its time for Carrie's weekly segment, Friday Foto Finish Fiesta.  My submission for this weeks Phestivities is this little doosey:

On the last day of school I came home to find this waiting for me when I entered the apartment.  They kind of look like monkey ducks with those socks on their feet.  I instantly dropped everything I was carrying and laughed out loud.  I actually laughed so hard I cried.  It may have been excitement about not seeing any 7th graders for two and a half months.  Or maybe it was the realization that I would be stuck all summer with giggling, farts, adventures and crazy monkey antics.  Who knows?

All you players out there, please take a look at and comment on yesterdays post: Ask A Monkey.  I would like to turn it into a weekly segment, but need some good questions to start.  Feel free to add more than one.  Thanks in advance!  :()  I promise to come around and visit all of you!

Ask A Monkey

Do you have any questions you are dying to know the answers to?  Well, this week, we would like to begin a segment called 'Ask A Monkey'.  Ask us your questions and we will give you the best answers we can. It can be anything from the meaning of life to our favorite color to what's on our I-Pod.  You have a question, we have an answer.

Each week, we will feature at least one question from our viewers.  Please send us your comments or e-mail us your questions if you want them more private.  We will even link you so our viewers can find out more about the person behind the question.  Now put on your thinking caps (we are wearing ours) and ask away.  We are anxiously awaiting you!

P.S. We are leaving for a field trip soon, so don't be offended if we don't respond back right away.

Goodbye Kory, We'll Miss You!

We were so excited yesterday that Hell's Kitchen was on that we couldn't sit down long enough to blog.  We decided to spend our day making a poster to show our support for our mostest favoritest Hell's Kitchen Chef, Kory. (I didn't have the heart to tell Guillermo he spelled her name wrong.)  Well, that turned out to be a waste of time!  She was voted off the show to much of our surprise.  We all thought she was going to win!  She seemed to kick some serious booty in the kitchen!  Chef Ramsay let the girl who burned him TWICE stay over Cory, NO WAY!!!

Guillermo took the news the worst.  He hid in Brian's shirt whining and moaning for a couple of hours.  We couldn't even say words that started with a K sound or he would start in again.  It made conversation interesting though.  The little guy was quite smitten with her.  The good news is that we get to see her cook one more time on the season finale.  Once we mentioned that, G-man was up and running all over again.  I guess it doesn't take a monkey long to recover.  Bernardo out!

Adult Beverages

On Jen's other blog she posted some tasty liquid summer refreshments that we though we should give a try.  I am partaking in a Raspberry Margarita Sorbet.  It is quite tasty!  Be careful, there are seeds.  They get stuck in my little monkey teeth.

Guillermo is drinking one of Jen's moms summertime favorite, Lime Slush.  It is quite thirst quenching.  A bit tarty, a bit tangy, and a whole lot of deliciousness.

Well, that was tasty!

Yes, this one was pretty good too.   What should we do now?

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!  Wake us up of up for Diners Drive-in and Dives!  Put some sauce on it......

Helping out...

We decided to be helpful little minkees today and vacuum the living room.  Jen and Brian are in the process of getting new carpet, but they still need to take care of this one...  

Anyway, Bernardo and I hopped on, hit the power and held on for dear life.  This puppy is wicked powerful.  We flew around the room at lightning speed.  It was scary!!!

Thats when Bernardo went into action.  He swooped down, a very daring move I say, and unplugged the vacuum before it could do any more damage.  He is pretty lucky he didn't get sucked up into this thing.  Like I said before, it is wicked powerful.  He is a very brave minkee if I do say so myself.

While down on the floor, Bernardo also found the 'Power Paw'.  That thing has some serious power! (hence the name)  It can pick up almost anything.  It has a lot of suction (insert giggles here).  He chased me around for a while, which was fun for a  while until......

So, that happend!!!  B-man, sometimes you can be such a butt!

Maxims Hot 100

Each year Maxim magazine comes out with their 'Hot 100' issue.  (Jen was nice enough to buy a copy for us to peruse.)  We decided we needed our votes for our top 10 cuties on television.  So sit back, relax, and see if you agree with any of our pics....  (By the way, these are in no particular order.)

Guillermo's Girls

1. Kate from Lost (I'd like to traverse the jungle with her if you know what I mean!!!)

2. Corey from Hell's Kitchen (she can cook for me anytime!)

3. Padma from Top Chef (hubba hubba)

4. Rachel Ray (YUMMO!)

5. Sarah Michelle Gellar (She can slay me anytime!)

6. Jessica Biel (run from the chainsaw, run)

7.  Lois Griffin (she is one saucy cartoon hotty!)

8.  Alicia Silverstone (that sexy PETA)

9.  Anna Paquin (She can try to drain my power, if she dares!)

10.  Rachael Bilson (the OC the size of little ol' me!!!!)

Bernardo's Babes

1. Cat Cora (Greek Goddess of Gastronomy)

2.  Giada DeLaurentiis (Italian beauty)

3.  Stephanie our new Top Chef (I'll help you start a new restaurant!!!)

4.  Jessica Alba (lasso wielding vixon)

5. Elisha Cuthbert (I wish she lived next door!)

6.  Ali Larter (You can be my hero anytime)

7.  Jennifer Connelly (Best scene ever, when she is singing in Dark City.  Hoo, hoo, hoo)

8.  Eliza Dushku (I can turn this bad slayer good)

9.  Heidi Klume (have you seen the VS adds.  MEOW!)

10.  Megan Fox (the smokin chickie from Transformers.  Bernardo like!)

Friday Foto Finish Fiesta 2.2

Its that time of the week again my friends, the Friday Foto Finish Fiesta from Candid Carrie.  Through her, i've gotten some requests from all you folks out there who want to see how I do it all.  How do I manage to stay cute, blog, go on adventures, play in the jungle, go to India, etc. etc.  First off, I start my day by doing some sit ups to keep my little minkee figure in check.  This is followed by my breakfast banana or if I am really lucky one of Jen's breakfast smoothies.  Yummo!  After that its time to play, get out the camera and take some pictures.  After it is all done, I put on my spectacles, grab the laptop, and blog to my little hearts content.  This continues through night time when we have our T.V. time.  We watch a lot of cooking shows like Hell's Kitchen, Iron Chef, Top Chef, The Triple D (Diners, Drive - ins and Dives) you get the point.  We also like shows like Lost and CSI when in season.  When it is time for bed, we go to our luxury suites for beddy bye.  We do take our suds and bubbles a couple times a week as well to make sure we stay clean and well groomed for our readers.  That is an average day in our lives.  Drop us a line if you have any questions, comments, or want to know more about us.  Guillermo Out......

Welcome to John!

Just a quick shout-out to Janos. We want to him to know that we are willing and able to tend bar in case of emergencies! However, we are pretty tiny fella's, so stock up on the egg crates if you want us to be able to see (and more importantly...BE SEEN!) over the bar. G-unit is wearing his cowboy hat, for maximum tips, he says. Personally, I think he's seen "Coyote Ugly" too many times. Though I guess seeing that movie just once would be "too many times". Peace out all.

We know what's in here!

Alright Jen.  We saw you come home with groceries.  We know what you bought because we rifled through the bag when you ran past us running to go use the bathroom.  We know what you got and we want it.....  We want the Ice Cream we saw you sneak behind the bag of ice.  If we don't get it we will tell Brian, and you know what he'll do.  Eat it before you can ever get to it.  That's right missy, this is blackmail.  Give us the ice cream or we're telling on you!

MMMMMmmmmmmm.  Good stuff.  Butter Pecan, that hits the spot.  Wait, what does it say on the label?  Soy Dream!!!  Made from organic soybeans.  Gross!!!!! You lactose intolerant freak!  I ate soybeans.  Great, and you were complaining before about my gassy butt.  Your in for it now sister!  Do you know what soybeans do to a minkeys digestive system, because we know what it does to yours....  Wait, why are you putting me out on the sun porch?!?  I was only kidding......

Monkeys Night Out Pt. 2

Sorry to take so long to finish the post. We have been a little busy playing out in the jungle. We are forgetful little guys at times. Plus, we wanted to stop by and visit E & K in India to make sure they check out the post and see how some of their animals are doing. Now, on to finishing up about Saturday night's festivities....

Once at the farm we started off the evening with some adult beverages and games. Here we are playing a pretty fun game called Zombies!!! (We figured to pay tribute to the ultimately scary Friday the 13th.) You would think that this is a hard game, but not so much. Just roll some dice and kill some Zombies. Jen and I made her guys do a conga line. I think she should have paid more attention to the game because she died twice and had to go back to town square and start all over. The newbie, Nathaniel, won the game with flying colors.

During the game we caught a rare glimpse of the creature they call "Charlie". He is an elusive animal who does not seem to like people. He was pretty cool. He didn't get too close. I was kinda afraid of him and the other animals. Jen and Brian kept making jokes that we better not get to close or we might become a chew toy. To that I say "NO...NO!"

After the game we went into the living room for some relaxation and meditation. I had a close call with a creature simply known as "cat". Apparently, it had no name. Weird. I am a stuffed monkey and I have a name. Anyway, I was pretty frightened when this guy came up to me. I thought I was a goner, the whole chew toy thing flashed through my little head. I had a tactic though. I farted and scared the 'cat' away. Unfortunately, everyone left the room. They said it needed to air out for a while, which was fine by us. Bernardo started banging on the drum and I was at Burning Man all over again. Lots of dancing. It was tiring, but tons of fun!

The other creature, Rishi, hung out in the living room with us. He was a pretty cool. He smelled a little funky due to an encounter with a skunk, but I didn't mind. He could handle my stink, I could handle his. It wasn't too bad, but I didn't want to get too close just in case. Jen didn't seem to mind him. She got down on the floor and played with him for quite a while. Maybe the exposure to my posterior has made her numb to bad smells. Who knows?

After a while we all went out and made a fire pit. There was joking about using us a kindling. Bernardo and I did not find that funny. We stayed in Jen's coat pockets, we know that she wouldn't let anything happen to us. We listened to them tell stories and jokes and drink lots of beer. All in all it was a fun night. We were tuckered out by the time we left and we slept in the glove box on the way home. I guess Jen had a good time too, because she fell asleep in the car as well. We will have to go and visit the farm again sometime soon. Next time we go, we will have to check out the chickens and goats. (I don't think we will want to get too close to them though.)

Monkey out....

Monkeys Night Out

Last Night we headed off to the farm for some fun and games.  There was a full rainbow showing us the way there.  It was pretty cool as you can see.  It was even a double one, which we hear is rare.  We wanted to go find the end of it and play with the leprechaun but Jen said he probably isn't a friendly one.  She reminded us of that (really bad) movie about one and how he killed everyone who took his gold.  So we decided to keep going and leave the leprechaun alone. And besides: Farm = Fun + Games so we needed to get there ASAP!

Just in case Brian forgot how to get to the Farm, we decided to act as the GPS in the car.  The Gas Production System.  We apparently were too helpful because we were told if we didn't stop, Brian would pull over and put us in the trunk. So we just sat and waited in anticipation...... 

Apparently, the townspeople found out we were coming because they put out a sign just for us.  They are very thoughtful people!

Once at the farm it was time for some fun and games.  I tried to play the drum with my butt, but that didn't work so well.  Bernardo showed me how to play the right way.  He has pretty good rhythm for a monkey!  He played and I sang one of my favorite songs, Bang the Drum.  It was good times.

Then we found the cheese master 3000, Bernardo was good at playing that too.  He must have some musical talent.   My only talent is being cute (and a bit farty).  I wish I had that ability.  He said he would teach me how to play when we are at home, there is a piano, but I have to promise not to get all pouty when I do things wrong.  We will see if that actually happens!

Well, enough for now.  My little minkey paws are tired from typing this much.  I will write more later today and maybe show you some of the animals on the farm.  They were pretty cool.  The cat got a little too touchy with me at one point, but I am o.k.  Monkey out.... for now...