Consumer Reports - Monkey Style - Your Monkey Can Read

There is this new product out there called "Your Baby Can Read". Essentially you simply 'plop your baby in front of the TV and they (magically) learn how to read' WHAT?

We didn't believe it was possible, so Jen developed a program called "your monkey can read".

What she did was sat us down, taught us phonics, letter sound combinations, sight words, etc. And you know what, it worked. We didn't get the luxury of sitting in front of the TV and learning, we were taught!

While at the park the other day, we decided to talk to some of the babies we came across to see how effective the "Your baby can read" program worked. Not one of them was able to make a sensible response.

Our verdict: Your baby can read - zero hoots

Your monkey can read - 10 plus hoots and an extra hoot for Jen who spent the extra time with us!

Not to mention, we can now check out books from the library!!!!!

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style - The Shake Weight

Sorry about that folks! We get into swaddle mode and lose track of time..... Mmmmm comfy swaddle..... Sorry!

Now onto todays Consumer Report - The Shake Weight.

While we may give this 20 hoots for hilarity, we give it 1 hoot for practicality.

First of all, you use the weight all wrong. You could seriously bust out some teeth if you aren't careful!

Second, nobody looks that happy while working out. This chick has some major issues. (Brian thinks she just needs a man. Whatever that means)

Third, it was almost impossible for us to lift that thing. We had to have Jen help (once again Brian was making some odd comments....). She looked ridiculous! We had a great time hooting at her!

Lastly, if you want a workout that is way more fun, bust out the Wii. There are several games that involve the same type of movement but look like they are waaaaaaay more fun!

Overall, the Shake Weight is not worth the money unless you want to play a joke on someone.

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style - The Snuggie!

HOLY SH*T!!!! The Snuggie is the best invention on the planet. We haven't been able to leave these things since Monday! We just can't stop hooting about them!

I mean seriously, you are all warm, your butt hangs out so you don't accidentally dutch oven yourself! I wonder what Bernardo is doing. I haven't seen him in a while. I hope he too is in utter comfort with the Snuggie!

Snuggie, I laugh in the face of the Sunggie. You want total comfort, have Jen or Brian hook you up with The Swaddle. All the comfort of a Snuggie, but the tight bundle of the Swaddle. Mmmmmmmm Monkey heaven. I give the Swaddle 12 out of 10 hoots, it is that awesome!

Dear lord, Bernardo is right. The Swaddle is king in the comfy world. Mmmmmm, Swaddle.

Monkey Approved!

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style - Bump - its

Our first purchase with the 'card' was a set of Bump - its. We had a very difficult time using them. Only one of the three sizes actually worked for monkeys and putting the socks on with them in was also a bit tricky. Here are the two views.

Side View:

Front View:

We look SO AWESOME here!!!!!!

In the end we felt that the Bump - its weren't worth the money. We could only use one out of three, they were hard to maneuver, and we had to be careful while monkeying around because they got stuck in our fur and hurt our heads. We give this product 3 out of ten hoots.

Hoot, Hoot, Hoot!

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style

So, have you noticed that we have been gone for a while? Well, um, we sortta got 'grounded' from the internet. Apparently when a credit card application comes in the mail we need to leave it alone...... Hey, they are the ones that approved a monkey for a credit card!

On a side note we had one hell of a time playing around (aka ordering stuff) from the home shopping network. They had so much stuff we didn't know where to begin!

We ordered some Bump-its, My monkey can read series, a dozen snuggies, detox foot pads, a shake weight and the ever popular fart machine just to name a few. Unfortunately we are no longer in possession of the above items (except we kept the fart machine. His name is Guillermo!) We were 'asked nicely' to return the items in their original condition and get our money back.

Before we sent the items back we did get to play with them for a bit. Keep an eye out this week for our consumer report/review monkey style! See what items get the most hoots.

No words can describe this one.....

Heeeeee Heeeeee.........

Teee heee heeee..........

Haaaaa......

mmmmmmmmmmm................

monkey............

stashes...................

MonkeyStash!

Authentic Cheese heads!

Have you ever gotten some Babybel cheese and find yourself wondering what to do with the rinds? Well, just give them to a monkey!

They are the perfect size to cover up our ears and keep them nice and warm! Plus, with the 'jams' it completes the outfits!
The only problem is that if you leave them on your ears too long (ie 5 minutes or more) your whole head begins to smell like cheese....
Although, smelling like cheese is much better than smelling like toots!

Not again!

It must be THAT time of year again. The weather is getting warmer, but nastier at the same time. This was the weather bulletin for last Friday. Scary!

We were taking NO chances whatsoever. We heard the tornado sirens go off and we went into crisis mode. Finding a hard hat in our size is hard so we found the next best thing. Hard Funnels!!!!
We don't want a repeat of last years hail! That was a scary, scary day!
We spent the next few hours in hiding. Just some nasty rain and wickedly high winds. It was over in a couple of hours, but we were afraid that if the wind picked up we would fly away! Tiny knit monkeys don't weigh much and high winds can be detrimental to our lively hoods!

Pleeplus Sighting

We have been very worried about our good friend Pleepleus. He disappeared just over a month ago and we have yet to see him. Today we got these photos in the mail. We are a bit worried about his well being. This isn't healthy for a tiny monkey like him.

The things in front of him are called Jagerbombs. We truly hope he didn't drink all three of those, but knowing him he did and took out the beers at the table too.

He must have really tied one on by the looks of things. We don't know if he is bragging, or if this is a cry for help. Pleepleus come home soon.

***No monkeys were harmed in the creation of this post. Pleepleus hangs out on my keys and gets to enjoy our times at the bar.

Weird things you come home to.....

Jen Here...... Yesterday as I came home from work I heard some odd giggling coming from the apartment. As I approached the top of the stairs I braced myself for any and all possibilities.

Farting contest.....

Socks on heads.....

Monkey swaddles.....

Guillermo's house of pickles (if you don't know what those pickles are, don't ask.... ok poops)

But this....

A balancing contest. Which monkey could balance a tongue depressor the longest.

Bernardo has some mad balance skills so he was the sure front runner!
Guillermo can be whiley at times and pull some odd skills out. His only downfall is that he gets a terrible case of the giggles. The tiniest mention of the words fart, toots, monkey, well anything he gets a bit of the Jerry Lewis gahay laughs.
Bernardo took full advantage of that fact and kept cracking jokes, so he was the ultimate winner. The grand prize was a branch from the Japanese Cherry Blossom tree in the front yard. Bernardo was a good smelling monkey last night!
However, since Guillermo is the gassier monkey I was really rooting for him to be the winner!

Jen out.

PLEEPLEUS!!!!!

OMG, a real celebrity came over to our Two Knit Monkey site! He is the well known host of Three Sheets co-hosted by Zane Lamprey. What an honor it is to have him in our neck of the woods!

We had to have a welcoming shot taken before the festivities begin. We are going to show him the drinking traditions in the Gray household.
First off we introduced him to what is known as 'domestic beer'. Normally a better caliber of brew is in the house but when Pleepleus shows up you gotta give him the goods on hand!

After a few of the 'domestics' we introduced him to the tradition of socks on the heads. While playing a functional role of keeping our heads warm they look totally awesome. Please don't let him know he was wearing a baby sock. He oddly got VERY defensive by this so we convinced him Jen (our creator) shrunk the sock in the dryer....... (sorry Jen)
Then we lost Pleepleus for a while in the liquor cabinet. He came back smelling like tequilla but he was in a fantastic mood. To finish off the evening he helped Brian finish off his Juicy adult beverage.
We all had a great night. Pleepleus is currently sleeping it off in the executive suites. I wonder if he will ever get up again!

Jen's in the kitchen

When Jen came home from going out to lunch with grand-crator (aka, Jen's mom) she went straight to the kitchen. How strange she was in there after just going out to eat! She quickly came out and gave us all of these stickers to play with. AWESOME!!!!!

Then she let us out on the sunporch to play. What is going on with her today? But who are we to complain. Guillermo decided to hang around upside down for a while.
I was chilling out and tending to the new plants. I like to talk to the plants and encourage them to grow. Hopefully all of the plants will be strong and healthy. I ....... wait a second..........
We have been out here playing for quite a while.......

Jen is nowhere is sight......

I wonder what she is up to, lets go check it out!

OMG MANGO/PASSION FRUIT SANGRIA!!!!!!!!!!

Monkey Approved!!!!! Just don't tell her we tried it out.....

For making up the recipe it was delish! I hope she makes it again!

Oh My.......God of War III

Today a mysterious package arrived on our doorstep. At first we thought it was the Twilight graphic novel we order but to our surprise it was the latest God of War game!!!!! Holy monkey butts Guillermo, we got a kick *ss game in the mail!

Here's to an evening filled with Kratos, cyclops', gods, minions, harpies, and tons of fun!!!!

Crap, its rated M for mature. I guess we will have to watch Jen and Brian play........

Important Birthdays week and A Special Visiter

This week is full of very important birthdays. Jen's brother turned 40 and her niece turned 6. We wish them both very happy birthdays!

On Tuesday March 2nd it also happened to be Read Across America Day & Dr. Seuss' birthday. We were very surprised when one of our favorite Seuss characters stopped by. It was none other than The Lorax!!!!!

He was great to spend time with. He told us how he speaks for the trees and animals that have no voice of their own. When he told us about the Truffula trees being turned into thneeds, Guillermo initially wanted one! Once he explained what happened to the trees because of the thneeds he quickly changed his mind!

He taught us about the brown barbalutes and how they played in their brown barbalute suits!

The Lorax taught us all about greed, capitalism, and how important it is to preserve out environment. We had a lot to say about that since when we lived in the jungle as young-ins we relied on the trees for many things.

Before he left he made us honorary tree ambassadors and we took an oath to protect the trees and our environment. He also gave us two special seeds! We think they may grow into truffula trees!