8/13/10

Very Cherry Berry Challenge 2010

"Adam Richman here, back with our food challenge of the year: Bernardo and Guillermo take on a pound of sweet Bing cherries!

Our minkees are ready, they have 30 minutes, and the clock starts.....NOW!

To start off, the boys gentle sample their first cherry. The first red stains start appearing on their muzzles, while gentle 'Oohs, aahs' and hooting sounds fill the air. Apparently it's been awhile for these two!"
"Finishing that first bite, they start towards making some progress, amping up the speed a bit. Somehow the mocha monkey has already gotten cherry juice on his EAR, and it's only his second bite! Now that's a champion cherry-snarfer!"

"OK, now we're talkin'! The seeds and stems are really starting to fly here: no more hooting, no more poses for cute photos for their lady fans...just grunting and slurping. I wouldn't recommend standing to close to the scene, these guys redefine the word 'Spitball' when they starting shooting the seeds across the room. I have acquired some safety goggles just in case..I don't think they are doing it on purpose, but I have heard some giggling"


"Holy S&*T! With Bernardo seeming to have hit the dreaded 'cherry wall' and deciding to take a short break, Guillermo is throwing caution to the wind, actually climbing INTO the cherry bag, muttering something about, 'Eating his way outta this b*#ch!'. Incredible, people..."



"Uh-oh....these two are running out of time, and Guillermo seems to be slowing down (grim photo below)but they still have a few cherries to go.....will they make it in time?


...and BARNARDO IS BACK IN THE GAME! After a 2-minute nap and much burping, he is shovellin' them in faster than before!"


"Bernardo's awesomeness seems to have inspired his buddy, and they both polish off the last cherry together, with only seconds to go! They've done it....this battle is OVAH!!! "(Crowd roars)



Woman in audience: "So how does it feel to win this challenge, Bernardo?"


B. "It's good sweetie, but I'm glad our new bodies are standing by so we can 'change over'...because, frankly, I'm a mess, and I don't think our normal 'suds and bubbles' is going to do it!"


Man in audience: "Guillermo, I saw you wearing a cherry on your head earlier in the battle. How did this help you?"


G. "Well, I was getting pretty full, and I needed something to help me focus. This was all I could think of. Also, I just love putting stuff on my head. It's a minkee thing."


Adam Richman: "An outstanding performance guys! Any last words?"


B. "Don't EVER eat a half-pound of f*cking cherries...My tum-tum hurts. Thank you all for your support!"


G. "Adam, I just used the bathroom in your trailer. I wouldn't go in there for awhile. Sorry, but I had to go."


2 comments:

Emmy

Yay! I knew you guys could do it!!!

(and now I have this freaky craving for cherries...guess who's making an extra trip to the grocery store?) :P

Roggey

This. Was. HYSTERICAL!

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