"This is G-mo reporting for Animal Planet News at 6:00. Something startling has developed in the Case of the Coco-Nawt!"
"When last seen, our two wayward heroes, Butt-head Bernardo and Gorgeous Guillermo, had apparently hit a wall. The wall, in this case: the toughest coco-nawt known to minkeekind. All of their attempts had failed, and it seemed all was lost, when Bernardo commented that he 'had an idea', and disappeared."
"Just a few minutes ago, a strange figure appeared at the scene. He was small, dark, and furry, and wore a green cape and mask, concealing his face (tho several bystanders remarked that he seemed to 'Really need to shave'). In fact, no one would know anything about this masked man, except for the fact that he spent 10 minutes flirting with girls and handing out 8 by 10 glossy prints signed, Captain CocoNaut. Odd."
"It was soon clear why he was here. With intelligence, cunning, superhuman strength and speed, he succeeded where our heroes failed. He used his intelligence, cunning, and superhuman strength and speed to push the coco-nawt down the basement steps."
"The only sad part of this tale is that Bernardo was not around to see it. He returned to the scene only moments after this masked hero disappeared. Fortunately, he took the news well, and enjoyed the fruits (ha!) of their hard work with his minkee buddy Guillermo."
"Truly a moving story, folks, you heard it here first."
"This is G-mo, reported from the Animal Network News at 6:00. And remember: Put some sauce on it."
"It should also be pointed out by this reporter that Captain Bananas would have undoubtedly taken on this task himself (and done a much better job), but unfortunately, he had partaken of too many 99 Bananas the evening before and was feeling a little under the weather today."